November 27, 2012

With Me In The Dark.

I suppose I am more acutely aware of the darkness within my own soul
and no longer consoled by the illusion of my own goodness.

Maybe His grace for us is exposed in the incomprehensible intimacy
experienced as He escorts us carefully into the darkest recesses of our own being,
His perfection gently exposing the terrors hidden there.

Recoiling, in one desperate panic stricken moment after another
as the realizations inflict near fatal impact,
disorientation reigns and a new kind of sighted blindness ensues.

Forever awakened, suddenly aware of the evil the self so faithfully nurtures.

Flail, lash, gnarl, and scream as the anguish of the truth overtakes
and when what fuels it is depleted and one rests defeated,
go ahead, attempt to Live or just live.

No longer burdened by the illusion of one's own goodness,
now fully hopeless, helpless, defeated
it is apparent that He is still here.

Lying bare now in desperate humility,
there is a new sensibility of His Grace.
It's become the only fuel capable of animating a life that's died.

And now, a new creation, a witness again and again
to human frailty's inevitable messy collide with completion,
my own and of those I walk alongside, is what remains.

Newly sighted now, but still blinded,
fragments of a glimpse of searing reality remain.

And still, He is here, now whispering...

Finally, lost with Peace, looking into the Face of Perfection
those dreams He's had for me sound real again
and I know I'm more alive than I've ever been!

Still there, now wrapped in His grip, a new bit of darkness reflected,
a noticeable strengthening wedge exposed from within me,
brokenness fashioned for precision separation.

As the heart quickens
this next terror is now consoled by my, now known, TRUE Need and
the excruciating gentle pressure of His restorative transforming touch.

I suppose I am more acutely aware of the darkness within my own soul
and now more consoled by the reality of His Goodness.

He's With Me In The Dark.

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